Girl Power

Do you remember the Spice Girls?  I loved them as a kid.  I thought their music was fun, their outfits pretty damn cool, and the were Brits, enough said.  But while I've forgotten the lyrics to most of their songs, and haven't kept up with who they are or what they're doing now, there is one thing they put out into the world that I still remember to this day: Girl Power.

I know, it's one of those things that's almost trite to put out in the open like that, but there is so much truth in it, it's disgusting.  As women, we always have to have our best interests at heart because it's not likely those around us ever will.

Two weekends ago I met a guy.  We'll call him...Daniel.  Daniel was attractive enough, nice, and according to him very attracted to me.  We met at a local club where you were free to express your more...intimate desires with strangers in an open and safe environment.  He spent the first 20 minutes of our meeting expounding about how I was the sexiest woman there, not even plus-size or bbw, just a little thick, as if his acceptance of my weight was doing me a favor.  And for a good 45 minutes I didn't buy it.  I let him stick around because I was bored and had no one else to talk to at that time.  That was my first mistake.

Later, when I decided he was my best bet for having a little fun if I so chose, it was nothing to write home about.  When I decided I needed a break, he followed me around, hands on my body in some form or another at all times, as if he had the right.  Now, a part of me knew, having been there before, that when you hook up with someone it's possible you stick with them for the rest of the night.  But it's difficult to walk while someone's simultaneously groping your chest.  I pushed him away a few times, but he didn't seem to understand what 'break' meant.  But he also wasn't forcing me to do anything, so I put up with it for a while.  That was my second mistake.

My third mistake was opening up myself to this jerk of a guy, outside the club.  I would never look for a boyfriend in that place, or even a close friend, but I've been on a search for someone to take care of my more physical needs, and thought he might be a good candidate.  So we exchanged numbers.  We texted a bit over the following two weeks, after which I invited him to coffee on friday night.  I figure it's a three day weekend, why not start it off by seeing if there's anything there?

Well, the morning of, he cancels.  His reason was that he'd have to stay late because of the holiday to get some important documents finished, but he suggested we meet saturday instead.  So I gave him the benefit of the doubt and agreed.  Even though I had rehearsal all day saturday and sunday, I was willing to make the effort, ignoring the fact I'd done my hair and chosen a cute work outfit that could also function after hours, and felt my shine dimmed a bit by the change in plans.  Anyway, he let's me choose the place, so I said I'd get back to him.  Meanwhile, he sounds me two disgustingly obnoxious text messages.  The first mentioned being at the gym and aroused, and his 'little guy' (his words not mine) needing kisses.  My reply: "looks like you need to give him some attention when you get home, good luck with that".  The second was him asking me to send 'dirty pics' of my self - which, consequently, I didn't even realize people were still interested in after the age of like puberty or something.  My reply: "I don't think so; don't get confused by the way we met; you may have seen a little of my naughty side but I'm a classy lady by trade."  His reply?  Nothing.  Haven't heard from him since.

Ladies, don't let a man steal your shine in any way, shape or form.  Be you and do you at all times.  Don't compromise your fierceness for the sake of some guy who thinks he's entitled to you because he wants it, especially if he isn't willing to work for it.  No one gets the goodies without putting in at least one solid 9-5.  And if you can't hack it, you don't make the cut.  Simple as that.  Once upon I time I would've texted again, and again, hoping to get a response, maybe even being more interested than initially.  Thinking I could get him to be who I wanted him to be, and not who I was.  But once a reasonable response time had passed (i.e. same day, confirming our meeting in time for me to get ready) I deleted him.  His number, his text messages and his name from my vocabulary.  Mama is classy and doesn't play games.  So treat me right or take a hike!  #fancyfabulousfierce